March 2011
27 posts
Games
Nothing bores me more than playing hard to get. If I’m playing “hard to get”, I just don’t like you. You can maybe break down my resistance, but I don’t like you. Why deprive yourself of something you want?
February 2011
55 posts
2 tags
This Only Happens To Me
Me: Hey, I was cleaning out my phonebook and thought I'd send a message to see how you were.
Him: Yeah...if I remember correctly, I was a jerk last time. How are you?
Me: Wasn't sure if you had died, lol.
Him: Do you wanna get dinner next week?
-----------The next morning, after a night of partying for his birthday--------------
Him: My phone died last night, I totally wanted to send you drunk texts
Me: Bummer! I love drunk texts!
Him: I wanted to send you a picture of my penis.
Him: I still want to send you a picture of my penis.
Him: Do you want to see a picture of my penis?
Me: Uhmmmm...what? (Editor's Note: We went on one date in October. I have never seen his penis.)
Him: I'll send it to you.
Me: You realize that if you send me a picture of your penis, I will show it to all my friends.
Him: That's bad!
Him: So do you want to see it?
Me: It appears that no matter what I say, you're going to send it to me.
Him: Sent!
Him: What do you think????????????
6 tags
“Real loss is only possible when you love something more than you love yourself.”
– Good Will Hunting (via motherrose)
Truth.
Yuck. Crushes. Thumbs down.
I hate liking someone. It makes you feel so helpless.
3 tags
My New "Office"
I moved my workspace from being on my bed to in front of my vanity.
Plus column: More comfortable, more room, there is a point in my day where I am actually not on my bed
Negative side: I can’t stop making faces at myself in the mirror
michelleakin asked: hahahhaa, thanks for that :) I DO take it as a compliment. I dated enough guys before Justin to know immediately that what I had was right and real. I know you didn't ask me for tips on how to FIND THIS... but just so you know.... I didn't look for THIS.
THIS came creeping around and had to bash me over the head repeatedly before I realized what I had. Justin and I were friends...
THIS came creeping around and had to bash me over the head repeatedly before I realized what I had. Justin and I were friends...
Two Exciting Things
I’ve been approached by a reality show. I’ve never really been that interested, because I’d have to give up my big agency career. That’s no longer an issue.
I’m talking with a French language immersion school on a possible collaborative project. I could be in for another European stint.
Really hoping that one of these opportunities lands face up.
I’m going to be creating and selling some Accidentally Sexy shirts. Any requests? Colors, sizes, styles?
4 tags
“Homme M G!!” - What to say when you spot a hot guy
1 tag
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When I say the phrase "one of my followers" around...
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What do you do when it's Valentine's Day and... →
My second RedEye column :)
8 tags
Ana Goes Speed Dating
Me: What did your ice breaker card say?
Him: What is your favorite prehistoric animal?
Me: Easy. Iguanadon.
Him: ...is that just like a big iguana...?
Me: No, it stood up on it's hind legs and really just looks like your stereotypical dinosaur. When I was a kid, it was my favorite dinosaur on my placemat. I asked my mom to make me an Iguanadon costume for Halloween one year and was super pissed when it didn't look exactly like the placemat....blah, blah, blah...Iguanadon...blah, blah....Iguanadon...Iguanadon.
Him: ........most people would say something like triceratops. Did you know they discovered it wasn't real?
Me: Well, they discovered that the triceratops is actually a juvenile version of another dinosaur and they chose to stick with the other name...which I think is bizarre, because wouldn't you just go with the dinosaur name everyone knows?
Him: ...yeah.
Me: Did you know the brontosaurus is also a fake?
Him: What did you say you do again?
Me: I write about dating and relationships.
And that's how Bachelor #467 circled "N" for Bachelorette #111.
This is pretty weird
For the past few days, I swear my glasses have been moved. I’ll wake up in the morning and they will be in a weird place. Once they were even on my face.
Anonymous asked: what defines you.. whats the one thing that when you leave this earth.. people will say about you when your name comes up in conversations.. what is it I say..whaaaaat!.
I tumble for you: Dating & Living in Public →
THIS
leahj:
Scene 1
Leah: The OkCupid algorithm is so good that it just matched me with someone I tried to date 15 years ago.
Friend: Your experiences with the OkCupid algorithm are legendary.
Scene 2
Table of women laughing at the punchline of Leah’s trump card Bad Dating Story. This isn’t the…
“If you’re looking for perfect, keep moving. If you’re looking for...”
– Ana
6 tags
5 tags
1 tag
You've got to balance
I love Marilyn Monroe. I am always so drawn to women that spill sex from every pore. Every man wanted her, every woman wanted to look like her. Even now, she influences fashion and views on sex appeal.
I recently realized, however, that as much as I want to learn her ways of seduction, I would never want to be her. To the world, her value was purely in her youth and imagined sexuality. ...
All any single girl ever wants for Valentine’s Day is for someone to invest some real thought and time into her. Anyone can get a date, but few can get romanced.
“I want to die young as late as possible.”
Me: I take my men like I take my tequila...with several grains of salt and a headache.
Him: Well, I saw you drink 32 oz of margarita last week, so I know you like tequila.
Old man of questionable craziness at Starbucks: What's that Roseanne Barr up to nowadays?
3 tags
Do you think he believed me?
Him: Oh, I didn't realize you were out?
Me: I'm not. Just hanging out with my girls.
Him: Did you tell them about our hot date this week?
Me: Lol...girls don't talk about that kind of stuff, silly!
1 tag
Douche Flash: He took a phonecall from his girlfriend, scurried around from room to room to try to hide it, came back and made a move on me…on Christmas.
3 tags
Douche Flash - noun. An alert of douchebaggery.
Douche Flash: Her ex-boyfriend got kicked out, so he just mean mugged the bar’s exterior.
4 tags
Ladies who brunch
Last night, I went to “brunch” from 12:30 p.m. to 12:30 a.m.
You should probably be my friend. They don’t sell my brand of party in stores.
F Yes Eyelashes! →
I’m a big, big fan of false eyelashes. If you’re telling me I can wake up and just have big giant eyelashes, I am ALL. OVER. IT. I can invest $30 in that!
5 tags
“Friends don’t let friends drink and try to convince a new romantic...”
– In related news, I woke up at the crack of 2 in the afternoon to a room that wouldn’t stop spinning.
5 tags
Blackberry Balls
Him: What are you up to tonight?
Me: Getting an early drink at Sable with a friend, then TBD
Him: I'm near you grabbing a bite.
Me: Wanna meet up in a bit?
Him: (Something lame about being too tired.)
Him: But I'm sipping on my second drink.
Me: WHAT THE HOLY FUDGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't ask me what I'm doing unless you are trying to be a part of it. Otherwise, it's none of your business.
What do you think a dream is?
4 tags
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Party, party, party might don't make it! →
Billy Dec is celebrating the anniversary of his blog achicagothing with a killer party at Rockit (22 W. Hubbard). A BD event is almost guaranteed to be pooled with his glitterati besties AND all ticket proceeds go to charity.
It seems like just yesterday that Billy and I sat over literally an entire table filled with sushi at Sunda and talked about this new fangled Twitter thing-a-ma-bob. ...
