May 2013
9 posts
Seeking happiness in the land of the thunder... →
It’s not that I’ve been depressed. Not really. Overwhelmed, exhausted, and unrecognized are all probably more appropriate descriptions. My stress is brought on by concern for deadlines, slow progress toward professional goals, and the other kinds of work-related struggles that tend to weigh down those of us living in the ‘modern world.’
As humans, we’re unique in our ability to conceptualize...
“There will be plenty of time for TV one day, not now, too much to experience.”
– My mom.
The Today Show was in Chicago today and my mom is a huge fan of the show. She said she was looking for me in the crowd and I told her I was one of the schlubs already in the office. Her response was the above.
I love it.
Men Vs. Women
If a man is wounded from past relationships, the next girl will look at him like a deep and brooding wounded bunny and do what she can to “fix” him…most likely getting hurt in the process.
If a woman is wounded from past relationships, she is either jaded or bitter and…OH GAWD BURN IT WITH FIRE!!!!
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Someone is going to win the breakup. Make sure...
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Love should never make you fall. Climb up into...
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Instagram images of Murad Osmann’s...
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Chicago is the longest and most fulfilling...
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Wine Riot: Chicago Festival Season Begins →
Tonight, we RIOT! We riot with WINE! That’s my favorite kind of riot, you guys. First things first: Nab tickets here. The Wine Riot is taking place at Union Station on May 3 and 4, 2013. Now, let me tell you why you should be there… Beautiful people. I’m not even joking. Wine Riot is… Read more »
Tonight, we RIOT! We riot with WINE! That’s my favorite kind of riot, you guys.
...
April 2013
14 posts
Offspring chatter
refreshinglyconfident:
None of my close friends have reproduced, but lots of them are getting hitched.
Best response about babies.
Female friend #1: How many babies do you want to have?
Male friend #1: I’m at my ideal number.
I second that.
Your Late 20s
When you’re in your late 20s, people start asking you if you are married as if this is a totally normal, expected thing.
And that is literally the only time it ever occurs to me that I’m in my late 20s.
24 Grooms Blown Away By Their Beautiful Brides →
Dear Future Husband, You better lose your GD mind when you see me. Start practicing your Taylor Swift Surprise Face now.
Love, your future wifey
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Dear Humidity
You are such an a-hole.
F U,
My hair
Last Night
Friend: BLAH just asked if I remember seeing her last night. Were we that bad?
Me: I don't think so. I'm pretty sure we had it together.
(A couple seconds of self reflection later...)
Friend: Well, I did knock over that chair.
Me: And you told two random strangers to watch your coat while you tasted salsa across the room.
Anonymous asked: Next time you take selfies have someone snap them from outside your window so I can feel like I'm doing something dirty.
Pho Real
Me: Table for two.
Waitress: Hungover?
Friend: Well, that took a whole three minutes. We're not pulling this off very well, are we?
: :proceed to unashamedly bury selves in pho::
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RIP: A Note Of Thanks To Roger Ebert →
Cheers to a life lived with curiosity, fullness and innovation.
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Why Chicago Violence Means You Should Dress Like A... →
Chicago, we are living in a city where children are dressing in Hunter Orange to avoid being shot. Chicago is literally the murder capital of the U.S. This is the reality of Chicago violence and the meaning behind Project Orange Tree.
Whoa.
I just looked at what I Tumbled almost exactly a year ago. That felt weird.
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November 2012
2 posts
April 2012
2 posts
5 tags
What is love?
Me: I love you. I love that you're supportive of what I do and so talented in what you do. I love that together we are inspiring.
Boyfriend: I also love your butt.
Roomie: I just purchased a kite, wine, sprinkles and Pez at Aldi and got hardcore judged.
Me: Well, yeah, you basically purchased a pedophiles kidnapper kit...
March 2012
1 post
Clean Eating, Dirty Living
Man at Stanley's: See, I think you and me are total opposites. I like my food to be clean, but I like my women dirty.
My boyfriend: ::gives man a high five::
January 2012
1 post
Pretty Woman
Jay: I bet they were worried when they saw you...
Me: What do you mean?
Jay: Come on, Pretty Woman. With that coat on, all they can see is that you're wearing over-the-knee black leather boots, a red dress, a beret, your hair is cut in a bob and you just walked into the Ritz-Carlton to sit at the bar by yourself. Then you take off your coat and they breathed a huge sigh of relief, because you're actually looking chic and wearing a cardigan and belt.
November 2011
3 posts
Forgive me, but there is a part of me that will always love you. I love you the way I love all my memories. Cherished and filed away as a piece of my puzzle. Some of the jagged pieces are ugly and some are beautiful and you are among them. So, please forgive me. I’m still learning to forgive me too for loving you.
Fart with Headphones On: They call it a "crush"... →
Best POV on crushes I’ve ever read. I’m going to have to write about this.
fartwithheadphoneson:
As soon as you put someone else on a pedestal and cause yourself to believe that they are the only thing you want/need to be happy, you’ve just made yourself the loser in the situation.
You want to date someone that is your equal. Someone you respect. Not someone who is a HUGE FAN OF...
October 2011
11 posts
Coworker: I have to help my girlfriend carry her computer home from work because she has a bum arm.
Me: Does she have a paper cup attached to it or something?
Can't Make A Ho A Husband Either
Guy: I've slept with almost all of my female friends.
Me: So, this trying to make out with me all the time is just some type of friendship initiation? Best Case Scenario: you become my boyfriend and I know that every girl you talk to: every girl that we hang out with, all the ones posting on your Facebook wall and texting you at night; you've had sex with?
Guy: Do you have any male friends?
Me: I used to, but then they all tried to sleep with me.
Dialing Rick Ross
Me: Oh no! Rick Ross lost consciousness and they're giving him CPR at the airport!
Jay: I told him his beard was too big for his head!
Me: I seriously almost got a tattoo of his face on my forearm.
Jay: Your forearm is not big enough for his beard.
Me: Phew! Wale just tweeted that he spoke with Rick on the phone and he is a-ok.
Jay: Man, I wonder how big of a phone Rick Ross has. He doesn't have an iPhone, he has a IJKLMNOPQURSTUVPhone.
Want to win some stuff? →
I’m giving away three pairs of tickets to a pre-screening of a super sexy film about Gainsbourg. Check it out!
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Do you hit a slump every Thursday afternoon? Me... →
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Life is like a song
Coworker: Are you happy?
Me: And I know it ::clap, clap, clap::
September 2011
12 posts
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Dating is like chess. You have to make your moves... →
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Without a doubt, Autumn is the sexiest season. →
Why do you think people couple up when the leaves change colors? I have a few ideas in today’s column.
Roommate: Every guy that you've brought around has been crazy: Boss, Nigerian, MC...
Me: Yeah...my douch-o-meter needs a tune up.
*Names changed to protect the innocent/not associate myself with them, lol
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G D it, Justin Bieber! How is any man supposed to... →
So Justin Bieber pulls out all the stops. Who the HECK have I been dating?!?!?
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Dear Internet -
I’ve had a cup of coffee and a Sugar-free Rockstar today, which in my world is the equivalent of 80 bajillion bottles of Hennessey. Wanna make out?
XOXO,
Ana
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Birth Control Recall: What Can You Do Now →
This birth control pill recall is terrifying. It’s one of the few times I can get a high five for being single! I spoke with Dr. Jane Minkin, OB/GYN and Clinical Professor of Obstetrics at Yale University School of Medicine and First Response brand spokesperson, about the recall and what women should do to protect themselves.
