4:26 pm - Thu, May 16, 2013

Men Vs. Women

If a man is wounded from past relationships, the next girl will look at him like a deep and brooding wounded bunny and do what she can to “fix” him…most likely getting hurt in the process.

If a woman is wounded from past relationships, she is either jaded or bitter and…OH GAWD BURN IT WITH FIRE!!!!

6:29 pm - Fri, May 10, 2013
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Someone is going to win the breakup. Make sure it’s you.

6:29 pm

Love should never make you fall. Climb up into something more powerful instead.

Read the full article at www.accidentallysexy.com

6:28 pm

Instagram images of Murad Osmann’s girlfriend leading him around the world are a profound example of THAT relationship. You get the sense that this faceless woman wouldn’t be any less bold if she was single. She’s powerful like that. Lead. Don’t follow.

11:34 am - Tue, May 7, 2013
Wine Riot on Friday. Boss.
(I’m the one in the green beret.)

Wine Riot on Friday. Boss.

(I’m the one in the green beret.)

11:26 am

Chicago is the longest and most fulfilling relationship I’ve ever had.

Look outside today and tell me you don’t feel exactly what I’m talking about in this podcast.

2:48 pm - Fri, May 3, 2013
3 notes

Tonight, we RIOT! We riot with WINE! That’s my favorite kind of riot, you guys.

First things first: Nab tickets here. The Wine Riot is taking place at Union Station on May 3 and 4, 2013. Now, let me tell you why you should be there…

  1. Beautiful people. I’m not even joking. Wine Riot is a unique wine tasting experience that manages to bring in the young, fun and pretty. The kind that have good jobs, drink wine and you’d want to take home to mama. Plus, wine goggles > beer goggles.
  2. Over 250 wines to taste and learn about…it’s all included with the price of the ticket. Guests can look forward to tasting a bunch of wine from across the globe while tagging, rating and remembering them for later purchase using the free mobile app, interactive booths staffed by the industry’s premier wine experts and 20-minute crash course seminars offered throughout the riot from industry experts like Second Glass Founder Tyler Balliet.
  3. Awesome Photo Booth For Boozy Memories. This is how not-uppity Wine Riot is. The photo booth has all types of costumes to choose from and speech bubble signs include wine innuendos like “I spit” and “I swallow.” This is not your stuffy wine tasting. The best part is that you can tweet or Facebook the photo immediately out from the photo booth. No waiting. I wish I could find mine from two years ago. They were pretty Wine Rioted.
  4. Fun interactive vendors. At one Wine Riot, they had a postcard booth where I sent my roommates and parents tipsy postcards. My parents never brought it up…so…I’m assuming it was a boozy doozy. There was also a temporary tattoo station with the greatest temporary tattoos of all time. My friend got a clawing tiger on her tatas and I planted a retro hulu dancer on my forearm. Why? Because everything seemed like a great idea.
10:51 am - Wed, Apr 10, 2013
15 notes

Offspring chatter

refreshinglyconfident:

None of my close friends have reproduced, but lots of them are getting hitched. 

Best response about babies.

Female friend #1: How many babies do you want to have?

Male friend #1: I’m at my ideal number. 

I second that.

2:52 pm - Mon, Apr 8, 2013
1 note

Your Late 20s

When you’re in your late 20s, people start asking you if you are married as if this is a totally normal, expected thing.

And that is literally the only time it ever occurs to me that I’m in my late 20s.

12:42 pm

Dear Future Husband, You better lose your GD mind when you see me. Start practicing your Taylor Swift Surprise Face now.

Love, your future wifey

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